Act II, Scene II: Make Mine a Double(-edged sword)

Strangely, this place, Airlie Beach, reminds me a lot of Seattle. Alki Beach, specifically. It’s a nice, crescent-shaped beach covered with restaurants and shops and just about anything you would usually find on or near a beach. Except, of course, the fact that this beach comes complete with jelly-fish, it’s just like home. The risk this time of the year is low, but it amuses me how the warning sign reads: “Hazardous Marine Creatures.” Creatures – isn’t that awesome? It makes them sound like something out of a horror movie. Luckily, for those who are faint of heart, especially during the ‘summer’ months, there is a semi-saltwater lagoon here for people to swim in safely, much like in Cairns. (I say ‘summer’ like that because, well, it’s hard to call the current season winter and keep a straight face.)

Yesterday after we checked into Bush Village Andrey laid about and took a nap (he’s come down with a slight cold, it seems) and I went out and bought some sandwich stuff to try and keep our food costs down for at least one leg of our trip. After having some of said sandwich stuff after assembling it into rough sandwich form, we decided to see what the town was like. It’s a lot quieter and more laid back than Cairns. It cranks up a bit at night, as any tourist trap full of backpackers will, I suppose, but it’s clearly more town than city.

Before the cranking up of things, Andrej called his French friend Jeff and we met up near the lagoon. They took a swim, and we found out that Jeff and Marie from Cairns as well as a whole slew of Andrej’s friends from Chisholm were living in the Seaview Hostel in a dorm for $12/night. We jumped on that shit in about half a minute. Andrej in particular, especially once he found out two of the roommates were the Swedish girls he met at Chisholm. I swear, it was as if someone had an imaginary string tied around his mivonks (to borrow a Farscape term), as he moved across town toward the hostel at nothing slower than a jog. Of course, him and them and his libido all inside a closed space in which I’ll also be living may result in a lot of time spent outside reading. Or writing here. Whatever suits me.

Well, we went and met his friends, and we made the introductions. Then we went out to a place called Morocco’s which has very cheap Beef or Veggie Lasagna (~$5) between 5:30 and 9:30 or something like that. We sat, ate, talked, laughed, had a few drinks, all the usual things you’d do at a bar. Andrej and I went back to Bush Village to change into more appropriate attire for the ensuing partying (that, and it was getting a bit chilly) and we went out to several clubs.

To be honest, most of the time I actually had a good time. I had a few drinks, danced around, danced and talked with girls, made them laugh. But it’s funny how true the saying is that it only takes one bad apple to rot the whole bunch. This is something that’s happened to me at many parties, clubs, school dances – pretty much anyplace where people are getting together – and therefore something I should be used to, but I’m not. This guy brings me over to this woman who’s probably in her late 20’s and tells me she wants to dance with me. Of course, she really doesn’t. He’s just fucking with me because I’m little and he can. Her and I exchange a few laughs and, at first, I’m taking the joke well. It was kind of funny and I got to talk to a hot older woman for a moment or two, so so what if they’re laughing because I fell for it and tried to dance with her. But then it just escalates. He brings me back over a time or two and tells me ridiculous stories like she’s his sister who’s really lonely and needs someone to dance with. Oh, and she really needs to get laid, wink wink nudge nudge. At this point it just isn’t funny anymore. They’re clearly laughing at and not with me. After I walk away and return to my group of friends, the other lady (there were two couples) grabs my shoulder and brings me back in what seems like a gesture of apology and seems to be inviting me to dance with their group. So I start dancing. Immediately, they stop dancing and start laughing at me again. The first lady seems to think that I’m not aware that this is all a joke and tells me to fuck off, although more politely.

It just sucks because it’s one of the things that I shouldn’t let get to me, but it did. I was raw about it. I tried to go back and dance with the group but, it wasn’t as fun anymore. The random girls that moved by didn’t seem to be dancing with me anymore, the group I was with didn’t seem to be dancing with me anymore, I couldn’t get a word into conversations if I strapped a load of C4 on it, never mind slipping it in edgewise. I felt invisible, dancing by myself in a crowd of people; there was me, and there was everyone else, and, to paraphrase Death Cab for Cutie, it felt like the Berlin Wall was in between and there was no doubt about which side I was on.

Then as we’re leaving the clubs to go back home at around 12:30 or 1 in the morning, we walk by a group of girls, smoking outside one of the closed clubs, filling the sidewalk. One of them says to the others “Move aside for the children.” It wasn’t what she said, it was how she said it that literally added insult to injury. She said it as if I were something so far below her that moving out of the way was doing me a favor she wouldn’t normally do. Andrej pointed out later that she didn’t seem to be saying as mean as I interpreted, and I was probably still just upset from earlier.

I have to give Andrej credit for that much. On that 20-minute walk home, he definitely noticed how upset that girl’s comment got me and he successfully talked me down and helped me get it off my chest. Although I’m afraid the damage may already have been done. I was feeling much more confident yesterday and was feeling so much better about myself. But a feeling like that made based on a decision to feel that way rather than a circumstance is usually built on a pretty fragile structure, and last night I felt it crashing down. I feel like I have to start all over. Hopefully, now that I know the road back up, it won’t take so long to get there.

Aussie Doozy of the Day:
Jellyfish. What weird creatures. They have no brain, they have no heart . . . they haven’t much of anything, really, except they can sting you like a motherfucker, and sometimes people wind up with a life-long injury or even die. And people worry about sharks.